Im waiting for my damn IPOD to charge so I can go to a barbq. HURRY UP!!!! lol. So the other day the strangest thing happened! My ex best friend who has avoided me and not spoken a word to me in almost a year, talked to me. We are meeting tomorrow suppossedly to talk. I have serious mixed emotions about this for sure. I really dont know what to think. I'll keep you updated.

I LOVE PERFUME!!!! It's almost an issue now. I love it so much!!! My poor medicine cabinet is bursting at the seams. I'm getting all excited about the Gwen Stefani Harajuku lovers collections that is coming out in September. I already have the L fragrence, Stacey got it for me for this last Christmas, I love it a lot. But I really want to get the new Escada moon sparkle too. Damn trying to save money for school. lol. Ahh well once Im done school and making big money Im getting a HUGE medicine cabinet hahaha!!! So Im going to be a dork and tell you what I have as of right now

Escada Pacific Paradise
Escada Sunset Heat
RL Ralph
RL Ralph Rocks
CK Euphoria
CK Euphoria soild perfume
Gucci Rush
Gwen Stefani L

Of cousre this doesnt included all the body lotions and bathgels from these scents. Geez I have a problem. lol

teachings from that book I was talking about

"All is well. You did not come here to fix a broken world. The world is not broken. You came here to live a wonderful life. And if you can learn to relax a little and let it all in, you will begin to see the universe present you with all that you have asked for."

OK so Im going to get a little weird on you all for a minute. So last summer I was told by a physic to read this book. (I know , I know. But I had seen this lady before and she hit the nail on the nose.) It was called Ask and it is Given. This book was all about manifesting your desires. Now when I first starting reading this book I was like, what the hell is this hippy dippy crap. But as I kept reading the book it started to all make sense. Now I still think the beginning was weird but the teachings in this book can and will work for anyone. They worked for me. But over the last while with things being so crazy I forgot all that this book had taught me. Basically this book teaches you that for everything in our lives we attract. And the more positive energy we put out the more we get back. I know it seems like such common sense. But it of course go much deeper then that. but all and all it kindof runs down to that if you want something thats good for you. You have to be positive and ask and the world will provide it to you.

Now after I read this book I but alot of these practices to play. One of the excerises they had was to place pictures or words into a box of all the things you want. Like if you want a new car. But a picture of a new car. But remember that you have to be positive. If you put a picture of a new car and then say you want it cause your other car is garbabge and that it doesnt work etc etc. That is a negitive feeling you are putting with that request. It can be hard to do this at first but once you do it, its easy to put it towards anything in your life. So anyways, I put all the pictures of things I wanted into a file on my computer. (it was my 21st Century way of doing it) I put pictures of Vancouver, the school I wanted to go to and pictures of happy couples etc. Well I'll tell you it worked. Not soon after I put this together and kept my positive thoughts going things started to fall into place. I found my long lost love Stacey, and we got engaged. I got into school in Vancouver and will be moving in less then 2 months.

But like I said, during the last bit I have forgotten to do these positive thinkings. I have been so busy in my own head worring about things that I forgot to just ask and put out positive thoughts and that if I was to do that things will be fine. So from today on Im going to remember to remember the teachings of this book and keep on with them.

This isnt a religious rant. This is a process that makes sense and also makes you feel amazing. Im not an overly religious person, but to think positive and give yourself up to the world and the powers that be, is something everyone can do no matter what your religiois stand point is.

So I of course recommed this book to everyone. But if not just remember to think positive thoughts about everything.

Never ever aftermath

I was born in the year of the Bulls-EyeAnd unless the headlines lie, then they prophesiedThat this age was the one to detonateSo let's goNo moreI can't take another false alarmSo if the fuses have been lit, let's get this over withI can't take another false alarmAnd I don't want to wait another day for the countdownBecause I fell in love with my visions of the mushroom cloudI was born and bred to bear witnessTo a long awaited glimpse of the burdened titan's blissAs he sheds the weight that was his sufferingUntil nowNo moreI can't take another false alarmSo if the fuses have been lit, let's get this over withI can't take another false alarmAnd I don't want to wait another day for the countdownBecause I fell in love with my visions of the mushroom cloudWith open armsStanding on a targetI thought that i could catch itI'll be the lucky oneI won't close my eyesAs I'm overloadedBy all the explosionsA spectacle of falling shellsSo now it's bombs awayThe blasting capsWill all laugh lastWith our collapseThe never ever aftermathNo moreI can't take another false alarmSo if the fuses have been lit, let's get this over withI can't take another false alarmAnd I don't want to wait another day for the countdownBecause I fell in love with my visions of the mushroom cloud

NO MORE PHYSIO!!!! Yeah !!! So hopefully I can my injury part of my insurance claim done. Im so glad thats finished. Except I love my therapist she was awesome!!! The whole clinic was.

So Stacey and I filled out our applications for this place in Van, and we are going to fax it tonight. Cross our fingers. So we just need that done and the Student Loan. Crossing my fingers for that too. Im sure I'll get it. I dont know why I wouldnt. So I have been trying to think of all the things that I need to get done before we move. We are definitly spending Saturday cleaning the bathroom...gross. Last week we packed a ton of boxes and organized them so we werent tripping over them for the next 6 weeks. Sunday we are going to spend Father's day with my Grandpa. It'll be great, Im buying him more jelly beans cause he loves them, and I think he's out. lol. It's truly amazing he's 94 with all his own teeth and he has a super sweet tooth.

Im also trying to figure out how Im going to see everyone I want to see before I move. Crazy!!! Im going to miss so many people. Stacey and I were thinking about doing a big picnic at bowness park but I dont know if I should bother. With the weather being so stupid lately Id hate to be rained out or something. Maybe I'll ask my mom and step dad again about doing it at there place.
Ah I'll figure it out!

Im hoping everything works out

So I finally heard from the property manager in Vancouver. He sent me the application forms. Which is a good thing, hopefully Stacey and I can fill them out soon, and hopefully get the place. We havent seen pictures but Im hoping its not a dump. I called the student loan people today. Still no word if I have been approved yet. I wish they would hurry up, so Im not killing my self with stress. Im trying to think postive; The apartment will be beautiful and we will get it, I'll be apporved for the student loan, and Stacey will get an awesome job making really good money so we dont have to stress about that.

Stacey's amazing he just keeps telling me everything will work out and be fine. I still stress but it's good that he's there to calm me down. I just wish this would all come soon so I can be done with my job.

Im sitting here at my work computer, wanting to clean the house instead. How bad is that!!!
But it would be much more enjoyable.

So Last night I had a hell of a time getting to sleep. It seems to be a trend lately. So much on my mind. I had to start taking sleeping pills. But they make me feel like crap in the morning, so Im only taking half at night. I've been having this issue since my Grandma passed away. I guess it's just the way Im dealing with her being gone. I have never experienced such a huge loss in my life. She was so great, she had the most calming qualities about her. Anytime I would eb stressed out or upset all she had to do was speak anything and I would feel better. My Grandma was the only other person in the deleivery room when I was born. She alwasy excepted me for who I was, she never judged me. She told me one time that if I came to her house without all the metal in my face and no tattoos and normal hair she wouldnt even know who I was. I think her being and artist she understood me a little more then other family members. We had a very special bound.

My Grandparents both basically raised me other then my mom. They taught me so much in my life. Now Im so concerned for my Grandpa, cause he says he feels so lost with out her. He's 94 years old and was in the hospital right before Grandma, he got out the day before Grandma had her surgery. I know grandma wouldnt have been with us long if she didnt have the surgery, but part of me wishes she didnt have it. Atleast I could have heard her speak to me instead of having that tube in her throat. But she said so much to me that day she died with out saying a word. Just the way she looked at me when I talked to her. She was completely there. God I miss her.

But now with her gone I feel kindof bad for leaving to Vancouver, with Grandpa here. I know Grandma would tell me to live my life, and to follow my dreams. And of course to be safe. I know she'll be watching over me in Vancouver. Making sure I study hard and stay focused.

Spend as much time with your loved ones that you can while they are here. Cause once they are gone, you cant go back.

random stuff

Ok so Im a dork and going to post two blogs in one day.
So here is a list of random crap I like or whatever.

My massive collection of Living Dead Dolls-www.mezco.com
My Collectable Barbie dolls ( Im a dork I know)
EBAY....it's the devil I know
My future Hubby...well I love him
vietnemese food...yummy
Bubble tea, it goes well with vietnemese food
My family but I love them too
Tattoos
Hot tubs (not a good mix with fresh tattoos)
Hot shoes, which are a problem cause normally they are high heels and I hate being taller then my boy
SLURPEES!!!!
gummy candy

OMG IM STARTING A BLOG

What the hell is wrong with me? lol
So I figured I would start this blog to somewhat document the new things happening in my life.
So for those who either dont know me that well or have been hiding under a rock, I'll give you a quick history lesson. Im 26 years old, live in Calgary, engaged to the greatest man in the world Stacey, who I love more then anything. We are moving to Vancouver at the beginning of August as I will be going to school at Vancouver Film School. Im taking Entertainment Business Management, not film. This past year and a half has been one of the hardest in my life, but also one of the best. I have been attacked, in 2 car accidents, lost one of the most important people in my life ; my Grandmother, and lost what I thought was the most important friendship to me. All in all through all that, I was able to find my long lost love, apply for school, and now I'm planning on moving to my favorite city in the whole world. I have only recently been able to see the positive things happening to me. I have been so blinded with grief, anger, despari, and pain.
So Im trying to just keep thinking positive so the good things will keep happening.