Im hoping everything works out

So I finally heard from the property manager in Vancouver. He sent me the application forms. Which is a good thing, hopefully Stacey and I can fill them out soon, and hopefully get the place. We havent seen pictures but Im hoping its not a dump. I called the student loan people today. Still no word if I have been approved yet. I wish they would hurry up, so Im not killing my self with stress. Im trying to think postive; The apartment will be beautiful and we will get it, I'll be apporved for the student loan, and Stacey will get an awesome job making really good money so we dont have to stress about that.

Stacey's amazing he just keeps telling me everything will work out and be fine. I still stress but it's good that he's there to calm me down. I just wish this would all come soon so I can be done with my job.

Im sitting here at my work computer, wanting to clean the house instead. How bad is that!!!
But it would be much more enjoyable.

So Last night I had a hell of a time getting to sleep. It seems to be a trend lately. So much on my mind. I had to start taking sleeping pills. But they make me feel like crap in the morning, so Im only taking half at night. I've been having this issue since my Grandma passed away. I guess it's just the way Im dealing with her being gone. I have never experienced such a huge loss in my life. She was so great, she had the most calming qualities about her. Anytime I would eb stressed out or upset all she had to do was speak anything and I would feel better. My Grandma was the only other person in the deleivery room when I was born. She alwasy excepted me for who I was, she never judged me. She told me one time that if I came to her house without all the metal in my face and no tattoos and normal hair she wouldnt even know who I was. I think her being and artist she understood me a little more then other family members. We had a very special bound.

My Grandparents both basically raised me other then my mom. They taught me so much in my life. Now Im so concerned for my Grandpa, cause he says he feels so lost with out her. He's 94 years old and was in the hospital right before Grandma, he got out the day before Grandma had her surgery. I know grandma wouldnt have been with us long if she didnt have the surgery, but part of me wishes she didnt have it. Atleast I could have heard her speak to me instead of having that tube in her throat. But she said so much to me that day she died with out saying a word. Just the way she looked at me when I talked to her. She was completely there. God I miss her.

But now with her gone I feel kindof bad for leaving to Vancouver, with Grandpa here. I know Grandma would tell me to live my life, and to follow my dreams. And of course to be safe. I know she'll be watching over me in Vancouver. Making sure I study hard and stay focused.

Spend as much time with your loved ones that you can while they are here. Cause once they are gone, you cant go back.